I feel so proud, accomplished and excited to be sportin’ this sticker on my car now! @hcollege #wefinishstrong #wearefamily (Taken with instagram)

Finally got a copy! Seriously cannot wait to dig into this book. No kidding. (Taken with instagram)

I haven’t been on the ice in years, it felt so weird! Also. Love these girls so much. @_jacquelynicole @tiffaninicole33 (Taken with instagram)

A homeless man who makes jewelry to sell and buy food made me a ring. #humbled. This trip is messing me up. (Taken with instagram)

laurennicolelove:

“As God gives his life to us, we manifest the fullness of this life in ascribing infinite worth to God as our source (worship); we affirm the infinite worth we ourselves have because of what God has done for us in Christ (self-love); and we affirm the infinite worth others have because of what…

I have multiple cyst on my ovaries, and multiple ones growing. I am in so much pain everyday. Fear and doubt are coming at me from every direction. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what could be. I was talking to my sister in-law today and she was saying how we can’t listen to the voices that try to convince us of what is wrong with us. According to what medicine says, I should have cancer, I shouldn’t be able to have babies, heck, I should be dead. But that’s not what God says. God says I am healed. God says I am made whole. God says I am restored. All things are made new. As Jesus is perfect in Heaven, so am I on this earth.

I think it all goes back to the lesson I learned during Expedition 11’. I always extend and believe the promises of God for other people. If someone else was experiencing this, I could look at them and believe fully for their healing and pray fervently with all faith for them. I can go into a children’s hospital and pray for a 3 year old little girl with cancer, see God erase the cancer completely from her body and know that miracles still happen. I have seen His power. I have felt His power.

But when it comes to me, I feel like…meh, maybe He will, maybe He won’t. Its as if I feel somewhat selfish believing and asking for my own healing. Which is stupid. Healing is the will of God and the promise of God, so why do I feel bad asking for it? As if I believed I was being put through this to grow stronger and learn some kind of lesson. Which is bull. I don’t believe for two seconds that God places sickness on His children for any reason at all. Sickness and pain are from the pit of hell. So why is it so hard to believe for my own healing?

Honestly? I don’t know. It frustrates me. It frustrates me that every time someone prays for me or I pray for myself there is always that thought in the back of my mind that says, “This isn’t going to work.” or “What if He doesn’t heal me?” My words come in alignment with the Word of God, but my mind and heart feel distant from the Truth of His promise.

I start thinking about it. I have every scenario planned out in my head. I’ve spent probably roughly 5 hours reading every medical website, discussion forum, and medical journal trying to “self diagnose” what is going wrong with my body. And it is only causing fear. So today I vow to stop reading. To stop thinking about what is wrong with me. To stop answering the phone when the enemy calls to plant thoughts in my mind. I’m done with it.

He can suck it. So what if I have cancer? Is the Name of Jesus not stronger than the name cancer? So what if I can’t have babies? Is the Name of Jesus not bigger than the name infertility? ALL things are possible for him who believes. ALL things, not just some. So today I choose to believe the promises of my God. Even when I can feel the pain and things happening in my body, I believe God is healing me.

This new song by Kari Jobe has been wrecking me. It simply says:

“The stars in the sky will hang there till You tell them to. The faith in my heart will still sing of what Your love can do. And even when life weighs heavy on me, I know You’re in control, and You’re all I need. The stars in the sky will hang there till You tell them to.”

I am resting in the embrace of my Daddy. He’s got me. He is in control. Regardless of what is happening in me or around me, He is for me and always on my side.

The peace of God goes beyond all understanding. I don’t understand it. But I know He is standing with me in every moment.

There is a Toblerone bar in my cabinet in my room calling my name. Ah temptation. This is what crucifying the flesh is all about. I want Jesus more than chocolate.

madeforlove:

the man who writes me a letter by hand just because will have just stolen my heart.